Thursday, May 24, 2007

Going Off On the Links

This title is slightly humorous because I don't golf - sort of. Indeed, I've frequently threatened to call my memoirs "The Pastor Who Would Not Golf". The Scots - my tribe - may have invented the game, but a Scot gave it the most accurate description ever. Robbie Burns said, "Golf is a good walk, spoil'd."

I have to be truthful though, I play computer golf, only because I can do so on the easiest setting and thereby kick everybody's butt. The thing that scares me is that after playing all of Tiger Wood's PGA Tour '06 I only made one hole-in-one! How rare would that achievement be on the expert setting?! It would probably be frustrating enough to make Billy Graham go postal.

I know a lot of pastors who golf, but I just don't get it. This gig is frustrating enough without going out and volunteering to take on some more. It would be like being an auto mechanic who always bought the worst cars reported in the Lemonaidcars Report just because he - or she - didn't think there was enough stress in their lives or grease under their fingernails.

Anyway, digressions aside, I'm just here to point you to the "links" section of this blog. If you've wandered here by mistake as 99.9% of our visitors do and you've figured out that this is a CWOT (Colossal Waste Of Time) as 99.9% of our visitors do then I hope you'll find something amusing to follow in my links list. This list is still evolving and will undergo periodic changes and updates, but it is probably the most accurate reflection of my tastes and interests on this page. Try not to let your pity for me overwhelm you, and maybe click on a few.

**WARNING**

As a note of caution, due to the very nature of the intermessnet some links may lead ultimately to places with questionable material for viewing at workplaces or by minors or by narrow-minded 'fraidy-cats.

In the first case - go back to work! There's nothing you need here for that quarterly report. Seriously, your company is paying you for your time. Do you really want to have to explain this to the sys-admin? I mean playing Sudoku online is one thing, but getting caught looking at my blog - that's just sad!

In the next case, if you don't know what your kids are doing online why don't you just build a basketball court or skate-park for them in the middle of the Trans-Canada Highway? Or maybe buy them a Colt .45 revolver but refuse to send them to firearms safety training? Again, seriously now, what are you thinking? If you've been paying even the most cursory attention lately you'd know there are more ways for your kids to get into trouble on the internet than there are ways to use/lose/spend money in Las Vegas. Those children are your responsibility, so suck it up and exercise some parental prerogative - and don't say you're "scared" of your kid. I know you can take 'em! And hey - you're the parent - who says you have to fight fair?!

And if you happen to be one of "those kids" just cruising the 'net let me say this - if you wouldn't look at it with your mom or dad looking over your shoulder why the heck would you look at it ever while your young, inexperienced and helpless butt is still being fed, clothed and sheltered by your parent's hard work and sweat? They're the ones paying for the IP you're using and you spit on them by breaking their rules and disappointing their expectations? Wanna be a grown-up? Pay the bills sunshine - and don't complain. Until you can do that you owe your parents your obedience. Don't break their trust in you. It's impossible to completely repair. I know from personal experience.

In the third case, just know this - I may see stuff from time to time that is ugly, profane, frightening, gross, violent or otherwise icky. But I don't revel in it. It's not my desire. And the truth is that, in life, the divine is found often amidst the profane. Christ was called a "friend of sinners" and accused of having what Garth Brooks would have called "friends in low places". But Jesus wasn't low. I know I'm prone to temptation and sin, but I am trying to not be afraid to go anywhere or face anything if it will help me understand others and follow Jesus closer. There are many disturbing things in this world, but ignoring them will not change them. We need to face them with the mind of Christ and see what God is already doing. If you close your eyes, you close your heart.

Hey, I suddenly feel much lighter. Blogging can be therapeutic!

*Breathes deeply - a smile steals across his face.*

Shalom.

1 comment:

Rick Shott said...

Hey Brian,

We just had our community garage sale. I bought an unused but functional set of clubs for a looney. Now you might call me the same, but I think I will give it a try.