Back to School

I'm taking a course in Creative Fiction Writing.

That line took a lot of courage to write.

I like to write, but commenting on music, books, movies, family, politics, travel and the like is quite safe. Facts are easy and opinions about ephemeral or concrete things are - for the most part - innocuous enough. A little humor. A little "life observation". Some encouragement to try out a song, or a new food, or to see a place of interest - easy and safe. People can take it ot leave it. Not really a big deal.

Fiction should be safer - but it isn't.

My fiction isn't safe because it is so close to me. It is so close to my core. It feels quite personal and when others read it I feel very exposed. Some writers call their stories their "children". I think some of my stories may be my "demons". And because it's personal I want it to find someone who likes it and appreciates it because when they do I will know it is safe in their arms. Or being dealt with in their hearts. But rejection - that would be the worst.

Still, here it is. I'm in a group every week, and I need to engage to at least get my $160 worth out of it. So I'm writing a short story - although I turned it into a screenplay for a two and a half hour movie driving back from class on Wednesday. I do tend to get ahead of myself.

What have I learned so far?
I need to focus. I am learning to think the whole process through much more. To look at what is happening on the page from new perspectives. This is helpful.

I think I can demonstrate. This was my first opening line:

"Everyone thought it was strange - except for Piper."

I thought I had the hook there but no, not really.

This is the new opening line - and it may not survive, but I think I'm going in the right direction:

"The morning assaulted Piper."

Same story, but I think the second line is better at drawing the reader in. I am learning to write to help the reader enter the story more easily and more fully.

Not safe - to be so exposed.

Worth it - I pray.

Shalom

I'm Still Breathing

Just a note to say life has been busy. We are grandparents. We will soon be permanent "empty-nesters". We are seeking new directions. We are dealing with old issues. All is change. Christ is constant. 50 is nearly upon me. Goals, dreams and aspirations remain doggedly fixed upon the horizon. Life has been - very "life-like" of late. I cannot be any more specific.

Shalom

Together We Stand

For some time now I've been contemplating how social networking and collective intelligence can be and is being applied in a variety of life situations. My niece found this video and posted it on Facebook. I have also recently been listening to this book by Bill Kinnon.

Social networking occupies a measurable portion of my work and private life now. When it comes to interacting with my community of friends and family who are not in my immediate geographical area, or who I cannot see except infrequently due to time constraints and schedules, Facebook has become my preferred tool. I have been able to reestablish connections to friends and acquaintances from decades earlier in my life as well as know much more about people I am in ministry with but cannot be face to face with daily.

I have done ministry for some through social networking and had real life events begin in the crucible of the social network. I have observed how my children and their friends use social networking to communicate and add to their relationships, and how in some cases they are already either taking this powerful medium for granted or even disengaging from it because of the demands it can place on them. When disdain or rejection of a widely used technology appears one can assume it has become ubiquitous enough to be pushed back against.

What I'm observing now is that the generational divide between social media users and non-users is blurring faster and faster. My middle-ager, baby-boomer group is one of the fastest growing segments, but so is the generation just before ours. The drivers seem to be family issues and ease of communication.

While this type of networking is still called 'virtual', I am personally regarding it more and more as 'actual' - even as telephone conversations have been considered 'actual' communication instead of virtual for decades now. Texting, chatting, using video/audio communication like Skype, text communication like Twitter are all becoming considered to be 'actual' interactions and the 'virtual' label is losing its social meaning - now referring simply to the mechanism of the communication rather than imparting any judgment of the relative value of that interaction. Less and less is 'virtual' interaction being seen as less desirable, valid or useful as compared to accepted 'actual' interaction.

We are solving real problems through applying the power of collective intelligence and collaborative work connected over 'virtual' platforms (MySpace, Facebook, etc.). We are expanding, maintaining and continuing our personal networks through the same media. We are connecting and making community and these new technologies offer powerful tools for us to make positive differences for ourselves and others.

A church I heard about changed its policy making structure from a top-down executive model to a congregation engaging work group model. At one of the first meetings where they implemented this the people attending were broken up into work groups and given aspects of the issues being addressed to discuss and report on to the larger group. There was some resistance to the change, but one elderly member in her 80's simply stated, "This is the way we do things now."

And I think Scripture encourages us to use these various media to bless each other.

Social networking - this is the way we do things now (or it will be very, very soon.)

Shalom

Autumnal Dance

I have always loved Autumn best.

One friend/mentor/teacher summed it up perfectly saying, "It's that delicious feeling of impending doom."

Northerners get it. I lived in Northern Alberta. Pretty way north. Autumn, like spring, was nearly - but not quite - instant. Palpable and ephemeral. As soon as the first hard frost happened Mom & Dad would plan our annual "leaf drive". It was an afternoon excursion into the hills and valleys (coolies) of the Peace Country in northern Alberta. A constantly undulating low-level flight that shifted from golden-gray harvested fields to riotously glowing stands of poplar, birch, willow and aspen shot through with the eternal green of conifers grown black-green with summer sun.

The trees either stood in tight copses on hills and along windbreaks or else filled the steep-sided ravines and coolies. The gravel roads we traveled would pitch and weave through this landscape as we "ooed" and "ahhed" when each new splash of defiant color hove into view. The Sun, now becoming perpetually low in the sky, would dazzle our eyes and make them water through our gleeful grins. Moments of peace, joy, unity and love in our family now flash frozen in my memory and gently cooled by the passage of time.

No music accompanied these trips - "AM radio only, please" in my parent's frugal cars. Just the soundtrack of gravel crunching and rapping under our car and our endless exclamations and comments.

"Oh, look there!"

"Nice reds!"

"It's a sea of gold."

We will go out for our new "leaf drive" soon. Our "version 1.2" of this family tradition incorporated music. I'd usually try to choose evocative favorites. We'd still comment - like we did on those "Christmas Light" drives, too. "Leaf drives" are better. We'd bask in awe of the handiwork of God, reminded of the gentle, powerful, creative and wise hand that shapes everything we experience. Even the agnostic and the atheist must respond with some sense of wonder, I suspect, when faced with such naked beauty and divine radiance.

This year will be different though, perhaps it's now "version 1.3". No children in the backseat. No warm family babble before, during or after. Like the leaves drifting from the trees, our children are dancing ever farther from our reach.

The delicious feeling of impending doom rises.

I will program some music for our drive though. Some companions are constant. Surely some Jack Semple from his wonderful instrumental album "Qu'Appelle" - one place we will surely drive to and through.

New Dala will be played from their summer 2009 release "Everyone Is Someone". Their fourth original CD and my second acquisition - better than the last one, which was better than most anything else I've heard in a very long time.

I'll choose some Mark Knopfler from his wide catalog and especially his new release "Get Lucky".

And there will be new and old favorites too. Some Joshua Radin, some Willie Nile, some Jerry Proppe, some Dixie Chicks, some Ian Hunter, some Emmylou Harris, some Robert Plant with Alison Krauss, some Jon Bauer, a smidgen of Tinted Windows and some John Fogerty.

And we'll dance the Autumnal Dance in a brand-new old-fashioned way.

Why don't you make your own playlist and join us? Can't you feel it rising - that feeling? Don't you want to dance too?

Shalom

This Summer Has Been a Bummer..............But..........

Synopsis:

July 5 - Our good friend Perry dies unexpectedly - shock, mourning, sadness & pain.

August 25 - Friends Colin & his daughter, Rachel, die in a motoring collision. Lizyanet, wife and mother, survives - more shock, mourning, sadness & pain.

In between this Susie must face unpleasantness in her workplace and make a very difficult decision that is still causing her stress.

My initiation into working for our Association can be best described as jumping right into the deep end, fully clothed, with about $637.25 in quarters in my pockets. Most folks are encouraging me by standing close to the edge and yelling, "Swim Harder!". Thanks!?!

Our cats continue to slowly deteriorate - health-wise.

Our TV hasn't worked in 8 weeks (this might be a good thing or a bad thing - we're not sure).

Don't even get me started about the weather or the Riders.

But......

We were at, and I officiated, 3 weddings since May - and each one was special and memorable. And we get to go to one in October and just enjoy it.

Our friends said "goodbye" to his mother and it was time and she is in paradise so no deep loss there - just the bitter-sweetness of separation and the confidence that reunion is inevitable.

We saw all of our nieces - such a special gift. And my sister made me cookies for my birthday - and they were killer good! Everybody I shared them with said so, too!

Some of our best friends gave me the best musical birthday gift I've ever had in 49 years - a glorious, full-voice, three-part-harmony, spontaneous rendition of "Happy Birthday" in the middle of the "Elephant & Castle" restaurant in the Delta Hotel in Winnipeg.

Susie and I traveled over 6000 Km with absolutely NO problems whatsoever - and this new Impala has to be the best screwed-together GM product we've ever owned. Could there be hope for the mighty (but currently wobbly) General yet?

Three nights and two glorious days in Jasper including a great visit with an old friend.

And right now I'm up to my armpits in our annual VBS with about 60 kids and the BEST volunteers a church could hope for or a pastor could enjoy working with.

So.......

Life is never purely one thing or another. It is always this blend of pleasure and pain, happiness and sadness, loss and gain, defeat and victory, confusion and clarity.

But for us there is always much, much more hope than doubt because again and again and again Jesus proves His love and constancy.

And part of the hope we have and enjoy is knowing the truth that anybody can discover this.

Shalom

On the Passing of a Friend

Reverend Perry Chernesky, M.Div. - July 20, 1966 - July 5, 2009

I met Perry in 1998 at Edmonton Baptist Seminary. We were seeking God and answering His call on our lives.

We hit it off right away.

In my life that hasn't happened often - I can count the guys I've really connected with on one hand - but I'm grateful for each one.

What can I say about my friend? He was funny. I liked and admired that. He laughed at my jokes, too. I loved that. He was smart. I treasured that. He pushed me to be better. I needed that. He was a righteous dude! I was always impressed with that. He was a true believer. I was encouraged by that. He was flawed and he knew it. I was humbled by that. He was loving and generous. I was blessed by that. He was my friend. I was enriched by that.

I've borrowed Bruce Springsteen's song about the loss of his friend to pay tribute to the memory of mine. I apologize Bruce, if this breaks some rules or crosses some lines, but you wrote truth in this song - at least a little bit. We're all made "one of a kind" by God. But the ones we remember are the ones who understand that truth and dedicate their lives to being that unique individual they were created to be. Too many of us settle for so much less.

What do I do now that my friend has gone and I must remain? I'll remember.

Vaya con Dios, Amigo!

Shalom, too!

Back to School?

I was one of those students for whom High school was a breeze. It made me unpopular with my peers so I tried flunking for a while. That made me unpopular with the teachers and my parents, and they had the power to detain and discipline me. That didn't compare with the power my peers had to torture me emotionally.

My solution - I dropped out. Intelligence has nothing to do with wisdom.

Twenty-one years later I went back to school as a "mature" student. The criteria for determining "mature" status was my age - 38 - and my financial ability to pay the tuition. My academic prowess was assessed and it was discovered I still had "it" - whatever "it" was that made me a good student before was still there and largely functional, plus I had a new asset - motivation. Peer pressure - no longer a factor. The only threat of discipline was the possibility of watching $20,000 go "bye-bye" with nothing to show for it - oh, and the resulting response that my wife would no doubt share with me. "The fear of the Lord (or your spouse) is the beginning of all wisdom."

With my shiny new Master's degree under my arm I entered the ministry. Later I discovered the darn thing did not inflate like a "Mae West" life jacket, nor did it contain a parachute, soft pillow to fall on or even a tiny pink umbrella I could hold over my head to deflect the boulders falling on me. Instead, I discovered the "better questions" I had acquired as I pursued the degree were the new tools I was using to seek better answers. And all that stuff every single prof, instructor, sessional lecturer and staff member at the seminary had told me about trusting Jesus - all of that was Gospel Truth.

I'm seven years down the road in ministry and I'll be 49 this July. I should be taking a sabbatical (I'll wait for the apoplectic laughter to die down out there), but instead I'm considering what feels like another call from God to go back to school. It feels like what I followed eleven years ago - but different, too.

The school I attended has been/is in turmoil lately. Big changes. Unsure future. Huge decisions to be made. Financial stuff, too. But the seminary portion is (should be) largely unaffected by all of this. And they have or are in the process of creating a Doctor of Ministry programme. The president of the school and the person in charge of church and alumni relations have assured me this is so - and I trust them.

My why reason to go back is because I am feeling prompted in this direction by God. I have no illusions about the amount of work and effort this will take (OK maybe I do, but the thought of school does scare me pretty much so I figure I'm being at least a little rational here). My goal is to become more useful to God and His church in any way I can. My hope is to teach a little bit one day in a seminary or other more formal setting than the local church (Yeah I'm weird that way - I like school).

But there is a lot of uncertainty - not the least of which is how in the heck I would pay for something like this (which was one of the big questions eleven years ago, too). So I'm praying - you could pray with me, too (It couldn't hurt.) I have given myself until my birthday next year to either enroll or set it aside. Of course quite a few other things will have to be in place before then if I am to go this way.

It's probably too soon to start sharpening pencils and buying loose-leaf paper, but I do have a nearly brand-new lap-top so maybe I'm more functionally ready than I think I am.

I guess I'm waiting to hear the school bell.

Shalom

Cats

Shadoe - our 14-year-old black cat is in my arm, purring up a storm. She has been extra affectionate recently - probably because our son, Steven, is back at school all week and she is feeling neglected. She's making it hard to type this post because I'm using one hand - and one finger on that hand for that matter. OK - she just left so I can get down to it now.

We took her and her sister, Sweet Pea, to the vet yet again today. Steven (home for the weekend) had to pull Sweet Pea out from under our bed to put her in her carrier. She didn't fight, but she didn't want to go either. I say "again" because we've had problems with the girls (yes they are spayed) lately and we've been to the vet quite a bit - over $2500 worth - lately getting tests and such like.

The practical reality is that they are getting old and are starting to suffer common cat health problems that come with being the equivalent of around 80 human years old. As such they are both remarkably fit. They need a special reduced protein diet and Shadoe may need some medication for hyperthyroidism but other than being a bit set in their ways they are still active and affectionate.

So we are facing their age and mortality. When they joined us Steven was 7, Matt 9 & Duncan 11. They have been the only real pets (fish don't count) our boys have known. Susie always had cats. I grew up with dogs until my last one left me for someone else (a story for another day and place). Susie and I had another pair when we were first married, but we had to let them go. (Ouch! A very painful memory.) So these two have been the pets for most of our lives together. If they hold out two more years they will officially have been in our lives for over half of our marriage.

But we will lose them one day. The costs are a bit of a concern. We can't put out money indefinitely. Our commitment is that they should not suffer or be forced to endure a severely reduced quality of life. Don't ask me to define that yet. Susie and I both hope we will recognize that when we see it. It does mean that we will have to take responsibility for their lives (as we have all along) and ultimately their deaths. We won't replace them. When they are gone our pet owner days will have come to an end. It will be sooner that later. But not too soon we hope.