A Year Since...

My friend Perry died last year - July 5.

Unexpectedly.

Unnecessarily.

Unresolvedly.

Today would have been his birthday. Facebook reminder - weird. Such is the world we live in now.

My post from a year ago no longer plays the song that helped me mourn because the soulless music corporation that owns the copyright is now blocking the video. Thanks for nothing Sony.

It still hurts.

Perry was a man of deep faith in Jesus Christ. I'm supposed to be, too. But it still hurts. And my pain is nothing, I'm sure, compared to what his wife and daughters feel today.

Faith is belief in what we cannot see. I have faith in God's plan. But I can't see it. Maybe one day.

But not today.

Today I see the hole left by my friend's absence. But I don't believe in the hole even though I see it and feel it. The feelings are real. But the truth is stronger. One day it will make me stronger.

Jesus said,
"And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20b

Jesus is here, but so is the hole. Jesus makes it bearable.

Shalom my Brother, Perry.

Can We (Should We) Come?

The iMonk has a thought-provoking post up today. Read it, please. I'll wait.

Thanks.

Now - I'm pretty comfortable in church these days. I should be, it's my workplace. But I'm always going to be comfortable in church and in church community - except when stuff happens that excludes or hurts people. And it does happen - all too often.

I think it all has to do with our expectations and forcing others to accept those expectations as rules of conduct rather than seeking community and grace as we learn about each other. What I mean is if I have a certain expectation of what kind of behavior is acceptable, or what king of person is acceptable in our worship services and in our community then I set up barriers that hurt and separate.

The examples the iMonk talks about in his post are probably pretty familiar ones - or at least they have been referenced in pop culture enough that most of us recognize them. What can be ironic is when those same unfair prejudices get turned inward. I know of a pastor's wife who has young children. She keeps them in the service because the church they serve doesn't have a nursery and also because no one complains - even if the kids can be a bit noisy and disruptive sometimes. But this summer a supposed "christian" couple who visited the church chastised her for how her children "spoiled" their worship experience.

How hard must we (I) work to shed this "welcoming for some, but not for all" characterization of the Christian church? How much will it take for us to reach out across these barriers to those who are curious, or searching or feeling rejected? A lot more than this little blog I'm guessing - but it's a start.

The truth is that everyone who is seriously dealing with spiritual issues and their relationship with God will come under the feeling of conviction about their lifestyle and personal choices. I don't need to add to that burden. Note - it's not inappropriate guilt I'm talking about here, it's about those moments when each of us truly realize we are wrong on some attitude or behavior. That is always going to be part of seeking truth and finding it. God is truth - and sometimes the truth hurts. But in that process, no one needs the added stress of being scrutinized and judged unfairly.

The Christian church has a poor track record in this area I admit. But not every church has this problem. Indeed, most churches have members with much more humility, grace and care than you might guess. Surprise! Some of us have been listening and contemplating how Jesus treats people. And it's rubbing off.

Christmas is one of those times when lots of folks will go to a church when normally they wouldn't. The Nativity story is compelling, or maybe it's just that your niece is in the church play. Whatever the reason, you should come. And maybe you should give the place - and more importantly the people there - a chance to show what love can do.

I find it funny that God invented the "taste test". And I find it very humbling that he lets me be one of the folks manning the free samples booth.

This year, if you try one of our "free samples" why not come back for more. They're all free samples.

Of course you can and should come. It would be our honor to be with you, share with you and serve you.

Shalom

The Eye Has It

My friend Amanda Gibson Buhler has an artistic eye which she puts to excellent use through the viewfinder of her digital camera. Check out her new homepage with plenty of excellent examples.

On the Passing of a Friend

Reverend Perry Chernesky, M.Div. - July 20, 1966 - July 5, 2009

I met Perry in 1998 at Edmonton Baptist Seminary. We were seeking God and answering His call on our lives.

We hit it off right away.

In my life that hasn't happened often - I can count the guys I've really connected with on one hand - but I'm grateful for each one.

What can I say about my friend? He was funny. I liked and admired that. He laughed at my jokes, too. I loved that. He was smart. I treasured that. He pushed me to be better. I needed that. He was a righteous dude! I was always impressed with that. He was a true believer. I was encouraged by that. He was flawed and he knew it. I was humbled by that. He was loving and generous. I was blessed by that. He was my friend. I was enriched by that.

I've borrowed Bruce Springsteen's song about the loss of his friend to pay tribute to the memory of mine. I apologize Bruce, if this breaks some rules or crosses some lines, but you wrote truth in this song - at least a little bit. We're all made "one of a kind" by God. But the ones we remember are the ones who understand that truth and dedicate their lives to being that unique individual they were created to be. Too many of us settle for so much less.

What do I do now that my friend has gone and I must remain? I'll remember.

Vaya con Dios, Amigo!

Shalom, too!